"Please Let Me See My Forcibly Repatriated Son Just Once"

Lee Byung-rim

North Korean Defector

My name is Lee Byung-rim, and I’ve been living in South Korea as a North Korean defector for 15 years. I am writing to share the deep sorrow of a mother who lost her son to forced repatriation and to seek help from the international community. I am that mother.

North Korean defector Lee Byung-rim (third from the left) holding a photo of her son during a press conference on October 31, 2023,

at the National Assembly Building in Yeouido, Seoul, urging resolution of the forced repatriation issue of North Korean defectors in China./Newsis

My son, Park Cheol-ju, was forcibly repatriated from China in 2010, and I haven’t known his whereabouts since. If he is alive today, my son, who was 17 at the time, would be 31 years old.

My innocent son just wanted to live in a freer and better world. This led to his arrest by Chinese police in Kunming while he was on his way to South Korea.

Kunming is a border city and a common transit point for many North Korean defectors heading to South Korea. My son, along with five other defectors, was reportedly sent back to Sinuiju via Dandong City, China, within 15 days of his arrest.

More than 14 years have passed, but I still don’t know where my son is being held. If he were in a re-education camp, I might have found him by now. But the fact that I can't locate him despite all my efforts suggests he was likely sent to a political prison camp by North Korea's Ministry of State Security. They charged my young son with treason.

My son, too young to fully understand the world, simply wanted to see bright lights at night and eat full meals. For this "crime," he became a political prisoner and has been trapped in a place from which there is no return for over 10 years.

When my son was repatriated, I felt like dying many times. Even now, I carry a heavy weight in my heart. Since losing him, I've lived in constant pain and guilt, unable to notice when flowers bloom or leaves change color. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts, severe depression, and insomnia because of the pain of losing my son. I haven’t done anything to deserve this suffering. My son didn’t commit murder or steal anything.

My son just wanted a better life, but the country turned him into a traitor. For 14 years, I have prayed to God every day to let me see my beloved son alive just once, to give him a warm meal, and to say "I love you" just once.

How desperate must someone be to leave their beloved hometown, abandoning parents, siblings, and children? Those who leave shed tears from the depths of their souls. Even now, in my beloved homeland of North Korea, where I long to return, our parents and siblings groan under inhuman oppression, living day by day as slaves of Kim Jong-un.

During the Arduous March, I can’t forget the neighbors who peeled pine tree bark with their fingernails and survived on grass roots to save their children from starvation.

I still can’t forget the faces of the children in my neighbor’s house, who turned green and swollen from eating nothing but grass roots for several days. My heart aches when I think of the mothers who, instead of receiving blessings and resting in maternity care centers after giving birth, had to climb markets, farmlands, and mountains just days after giving birth to make a living.

They say nothing has changed in North Korea even now. I was shocked to hear from a young man who escaped from Ryanggang Province in 2019. He said that just before he escaped, he visited a mountain village in Unhung County, Ryanggang Province, a potato-producing area, and saw a family with a mother and daughter starving because they didn’t even have potato skins. This sight made him feel disgusted with the North Korean regime.

Such pain continues even now, and we must prevent more people from losing their children due to defection. The trauma of a family torn apart will never be forgotten. We must stop the repeated pain of mothers losing their children.

Forced repatriation is an act of 'invisible massacre.' I appeal to parents around the world. Please listen to the voices of the victims of forced repatriation among North Korean defectors.